How Sez Sees It

I realised I haven't posted here for a while, so I am long overdue. I had thought about putting this one on my anxiety blog, but I feel the science part makes more sense here. A little about my fear I never used to have a fear of flying. Actually, the first couple of times I got on a plane I absolutely loved it and it was one of the best experiences of my life! Then something happened to me. I don't know what, but I think it was connected to an extreme bout of anxiety and stress I had in my early 20's because the first time I got on a plane with my now husband, I lost it entirely for the whole flight! This was about nine years ago now and I have been getting better every time, but it still weirds me out. I am hoping that this blog will be cathartic and allow me to get over some of this fear before I next get on a plane...which is very soon at the time of writing. The frustrating thing is that my husband is utterly obsessed with planes! Cannot get enough of them and des...

What is happening in British politics? Who the hell knows? Well this should be a little round up of how I have viewed the last few weeks and in particular the election on 8 June 2017. Actually, let's start at the beginning shall we? Brexit. What is Brexit? A good question. To Theresa May, Brexit means Brexit. So that clears that up.  In reality this is what happened. In 2015, following five years of coalition between the Conservatives (Tories) and the Liberal Democrats (Lib Dems), there was a General Election. The coalition was formed because the Tories didn't get enough votes to win a majority and take power back after 18 years of Labour Governments. They needed to team up with the Lib Dems to make them the most powerful in the House of Commons and so the then leader of the Tories, David Cameron, became Prime Minister and the then leader of the Lib Dems, Nick Clegg, became Deputy Prime Minister. There was an agreement in the House of Commons that elections would n...

Yesterday I had my first ever migraine. I want to start by apologising to anyone who has ever had a migraine. I also thought that it would be 'just a bad headache'...how wrong I was! I don't know what triggered my migraine but fuck me! I never want to have that experience again. It all started when I drove to Basingstoke to see my friend. It is about a 40 minute drive so not too far but the sun was in and out of clouds and in my direct line of vision for the whole journey. Then we went for a picnic and sat in a field with no shade for about an hour or so. The journey home was the same as the journey there, but just going in the opposite direction. By the time I got home I felt wiped out but thought nothing of it and settled down to watch the tennis (total aside here: Rafa Nadal won the French Open for the 10th time in his career and I am so happy for him). As the evening wore on I felt like someone had put a rubber band around my head and was twisting it to make it tigh...

Before I start, read this Huffington Post article. Theresa May is running scared Where is our PM? Have you seen her? Have you seen her without an invitation to see her? That is the real question.  No TV debates May has said she will not be participating in TV debates because she thinks the public want to meet with her and not see the debates. She will be interviewed on the tele though so there is that. The BBC and ITV have already said that they will hold leader debates and the threat is there to 'empty chair' her if she doesn't turn up. Unfortunately Corbyn's team have been hinting that he won't do a debate without May but I think that would be a mistake. I think he should definitely appear and make her seem the scared little wotsit she really is (wanted to say something stronger but I didn't because I am a nice girl). Who is she really meeting? That is the question. If May is so desperate to 'meet the people' on this campaign the...

Things that get my goat this week It could be that my period is due this week but some things have really pissed me off. I have decided, like any decent human, that the best place to air this annoyance is on the internet. Everyone else seems to do it so I am going to give it a go as well. Here we go then... Trump and Syria This week Donald Trump, reality TV star and somehow President of the United States of America (!) has bombed a (not especially strategic) Syrian airbase in retaliation for a chemical attack the Syrian army did on Syrian civilians . The attack itself is disgusting and wrong. It used a combination of chemicals believed to include mustard gas and sarin gas (sarin was the gas used on the Japanese underground by Aum Shinrikyo in the mid-90's which killed around a dozen people and left hundreds more with life-long injuries and health problems).  It was right that Trump spoke out against the attacks and we have to give him the benefit of the doubt that his ...

Being ill sucks At the moment I am ill, yet again. Actually I haven't had a cold in the better part of 10 months so I am doing ok but finally I caught one. I actually blame my husband as he came home with it first and gave it to me. I should have left out the sickness bit in our vows. It is not that I don't want to support him when he is sick, I just don't want to catch it off of him in return. Things I hate about being ill 1. Wanting to cut my own nose off You ever hear of the expression 'cut your nose off to spite your face'? Well my face would welcome that whenever I get ill. At the moment I have the common cold and my nose feels like a dead weight on the front of my face. I just want to cut it off and have done with it. 2. The headaches Every time a colleagues sneezes of coughs (we are all ill at the moment) it pierces my brain like an ice pick. The pain is terrible and I just want to be done with it. 3. The pain comes and goes in waves One momen...

Going to the Spa I went to a spa this weekend just gone (3/4 Feb) and decided that I should write about it. Especially as my colleague told me to. That and it was fucking odd at times. As I relate my story you will soon find out what I mean. The tale of the spa In 2016 I got married and then turned 30 so my best friend thought it would be a nice idea to book us in to a spa. This is a lovely idea and I have never been to one before. There is a slight problem, I don't like anyone touching me so most of the treatments were totally ruled out. As someone who suffers from anxiety if I don't know someone really well then I can't have them touch me so I cannot have a massage or facial or even have my nails done by another human being. There was a way round this though and I took advantage of that. Proof of me getting married which is unrelated to the story. I trust Dave and he is allowed to touch me. The spa itself was a mile or so outside of Newbury and, as the only o...

This is sort of one of those crappy 'new year, new me' posts. I know there are about a billion of them about at this time of year but hey ho, here's another one. 2015 was by far the shittest year for me in a long time. Yes I know I moved in with the love of my life (who is now my husband) but that is the year that the anxiety I have suffered with since I was in my teens returned. It was all the stress of house buying and it fucked me over for about 7-8 months. Really it was about mid-January 2016 before I started getting control of my life again. 2016 was the year after the shit times so for me it was what I call a recovery year. Every so often I have really shit years. One of the big ones for me was 2008 and that meant that 2009 was practically a write off. I spent that year recovering and the biggest help to me was Dave. The same can be said for 2016. He helped me through an awful lot by talking and encouraging me to try new things and have positive experiences. This ...

"Life, don't talk to me about life." - Marvin the Paranoid Android - Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy That is usually what I think when people want to talk about life. We are doing this constantly on social media though. We are all shouting about our lives via tweets and Facebook statuses (especially now Facebook has made the text bigger for shorter posts). Don't worry, I am honestly as guilty as the next person for this. What effect does this have on us all though? Before I started arranging my wedding at the beginning of the year I became really aware of the number of people I knew from all areas of my life who were getting married. I think the ones from Uni were the most obvious because they were all the people around my age. For about two years before I got married I could see all these people getting married and, although I was engaged, I was really aware that I was not financially in a position to get married yet as we had not even bought a house! This m...

I have worked in admin for all my working life now (full-time working life that should be as I had retail jobs before as a student). There are some things I have picked up on that make life that little bit easier for everyone involved as I think there is still a lack of understanding of what administrators are like. As a breed we are pretty open to new ideas and challenges and we love to be kept busy. We also love to learn new things on the job. There are many reasons why we went in to admin. It could be because we love being organised, we want to help people or we just fell into the job and it works well for us (yeah, that last one is me). Just because we are paid to help though does not mean that we are at the beck and call of all. There are some things that need to be remembered about us. 1. We are paid to help...but... That doesn't mean we are just turning up and doing the bear minimum for the job. We actually enjoy being helpful. Remember what I said earlier, it is one...