How Sez Sees It

As I approach my 30's I already seem to have a problem with memories of past triumph. I am not sure why this is exactly, but when I look back at things that I excelled at in the past I notice signs that things in the future are not all that swell. The most obvious things for me are stupid things such as not being able to drink as much as I once could. This, it turns out is a blessing. I would not say that the ability to drink excessively is exactly a triumph of one's youth, but it is a sign that my capacity for excess in any sense is dwindling already. When I look back at highlights of my life I find myself longing for those times again. A year ago I found myself looking back to the summer of 2003. This was the year I left school and received my GCSE results. I remember participating in my exams with almost photographic clarity and then the memories of taking a portable radio outside to sit in the baking sun in the mornings and dashing back inside to watch Wimbledon (the fi...

There are times when I have to remind myself that everything gets better. I have a new job to start and before that I am going to Dublin and to see a friend of mine play with his band as support for another band and that should all make me happy and give me something to look forward to right? Wrong. I can't seem to focus on the positive things that are coming up in my life because I am not quite there yet. Those in my immediate are determined to make things as hard as possible. I am not talking my family or friends here either, just the other people you meet every day. Some of them are strangers to me and they fleetingly enter my world, cock something up and go again before they are even registered as existing by me. This leaves me with a strong sense that the whole effort is not worth it. I know I have to hang on to see if things will improve when I have a job and house and whatever. That is sort of keeping me going, but it is tough when you want an easier way out. On to...