How Sez Sees It

It is very easy to tell someone to 'get over it' There is still a stigma around mental health and grief where we expect people to just 'get over it' all the time. The reality is that people don't just 'get over it' and many people learn to cope with something rather than have it go away entirely. In my life I have been told to get over my anxiety more times than I can count. I have even had people tell me that if I don't get over it my husband will leave me because it is not fair on him (that will not likely happen though as he has always had a positive effect on me and looks after me and doesn't seem to mind doing it). When grieving there has been an expectation that I get over it after the funeral has taken place. That is simply not the case for me and many other people. A funeral is a chance to say goodbye and then you have to learn to live without the person in your life.  I have a thing as part of my anxiety that is dermatophagia. This is where ...

When the rules don't make a lot of sense Yesterday I did my first full day back on the campus I work at. I felt totally safe being there and I have to say that the University has done an amazing job making the campus covid-19 safe. The measures include: Additional temporary buildings and toilets Hand sanitiser everywhere Free masks for staff and an expectation that everyone wears one around every building Spaced out bus stops at the terminal on site Limited numbers in toilets and kitchen areas One way system everywhere Not once did I feel like I would be in danger and I was spaced apart from colleagues the whole time. I really enjoyed being back at my place of work and it helped me to separate home and work life. This morning we are being told that we might have to start working from home more by the Government and as I write we are waiting to see what Boris Johnson has to say about things. The hints at the moment are that we should be working from home where possible and yet we ca...

After two miscarriages, this is what I have learned About three weeks ago I suffered my second miscarriage in six months. This has been a weird year anyway, but there are some things I really wish I had been told before I miscarried, or at least when the first one happened. 1. You hurt...a lot I had been led to believe that a miscarriage was like a heavy period. My periods are heavy anyway and there is a lot of cramping involved, so I thought I would be prepared for a miscarriage. However, they are NOTHING like a period. The pain you feel is actually proper contractions as you have to effectively give birth to it. I even felt the urge to push at times and I was only at 6 weeks for both of my miscarriages. Both times I had to stop working (the second time I was at home because of the pandemic) and go to bed. The pain was not lessened when I took Ibuprofen and I ended up in writhing pain for a few hours. The contractions went on beyond that, but I could get them under control.  I wou...

To lockdown again or not to lockdown again? That is the question Cases of COVID-19 in England are doubling about every 7/8 days and this is not wholly unexpected. As autumn and winter come in we are to expect and uptick in all types of viruses and there is no reason that this should be any different. There are lessons to learn from the southern hemisphere though. They are just emerging from their winter and there have been far less cases of flu and the common cold as people have locked down and improved hygiene standard to get COVID-19 under control. As things stand they are not looking good and the Chief Medical Officer has suggested that the country go into a new two week total lockdown to get the numbers under control here. There have not been a high number of deaths recently, but this is because a lot of the new cases have been in young people who are statistically more likely to survive if they don't have an underlying health issue. The problems begin when they take the virus ...

Back to the office and I like it Today I am back on campus and in an office. I say that because it is not my own office, but it is close enough and I am so happy to be back!  It isn’t like I was furloughed or not working at all during the last six months, but there is nothing like actually being on site. You get to have all these spontaneous conversations and already this morning I have managed to sort out so many issues that I just couldn’t do at home. Being in a socially distanced office is also great because there is nothing like physically being with people. You can get by with video calling someone, but it doesn’t feel the same as actually being with people.  I will admit to being quite nervous about coming back at first, but after I got here and saw other people here I realised that it was actually going to work really well and I was just so happy to have a little bit of normal come back. Hopefully it will last. I know there are talks about a full country two week lock d...

What I have learned so far Ok, it is only 2 September and I only gave up social media a couple of days ago. Already I am learning some lesssons about myself and my habits and some of them are actually quite pleasant. I was surprised how quickly I would notice the difference. The full list includes being present in the moment, paying attention to the things I am doing, not feeling like I owe anyone an explanation. Lessons so far This is the list of lesssons I have learned so far and what I have discovered about them: Being present in the moment My worst habit is over thinking things that haven't happened yet. My husband said the other day that I have a bad habit of looking forward to things and then planning the next thing while I am experiencing the thing I am supposed to be doing.  My go to crutch is taking my phone everywhere (and I mean everywhere) and relying on social media for something to distract me. It is a way of killing time until I have to do something, but that is not ...

How this year has taught us all lessons in coping with loss This year has been tough. I have said this a lot in my blogs this year, but that is because it is true. Many people have lost someone close to them because of the COVID-19 virus, while others have lost people for other reasons. This year alone both my husband and I have lost close family members for very different reasons. We have also been dealing with personal loss as I have suffered with two miscarriages. It is very easy to forget how loss can effect us in a variety of different ways. How I experience loss There is the obvious one, sadness. It is more than that though, it is deeper and more primal. When I experience loss it is coupled with frustration as I am unable to do anything about it. There is a purely selfish part to loss as well as I wonder what I will do without the person in my life. Then there is the big one. Stress. For me this takes the form of stomach ache, diarrhea, not wanting to eat and not being able to sl...