Getting over it

It is very easy to tell someone to 'get over it'

There is still a stigma around mental health and grief where we expect people to just 'get over it' all the time. The reality is that people don't just 'get over it' and many people learn to cope with something rather than have it go away entirely.

In my life I have been told to get over my anxiety more times than I can count. I have even had people tell me that if I don't get over it my husband will leave me because it is not fair on him (that will not likely happen though as he has always had a positive effect on me and looks after me and doesn't seem to mind doing it).

When grieving there has been an expectation that I get over it after the funeral has taken place. That is simply not the case for me and many other people. A funeral is a chance to say goodbye and then you have to learn to live without the person in your life. 

I have a thing as part of my anxiety that is dermatophagia. This is where I bite the skin around my fingers as it is something I can control. At times it gets really sore and even bleeds. People have told me to just stop doing it. That is easier said than done though. There have been times when I have stopped doing it, but it does happen again.

Over the years my anxiety has come and gone and I have had to learn to deal with it. Sometimes this is by having something to look forward to, or it has just gone. Even catching a cold has reset my body. This time around could be harder. 

With COVID-19 there is very little I can do about it. The pandemic means that everything I would be doing has been cancelled so there is nothing to look forward to. With all the additional safety measures in place there is less chance of me catching a cold as well so my body won't reset.

So I will work towards getting better, but I won't just be able to 'get over it'.

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