How Sez Sees It

Everybody poops, even on your period I know it is not the 'done' thing to talk about periods or poop, but it is important to take the fear out of certain things. For women who have periods there is something that might happen to you each month, your poops might change.  Now this doesn't mean they will for every woman on their period, but for a lot of women this will be something they recognise. Let's talk about periods and poop. This is based entirely on my own experience and I am just one woman in billions around the world so my experience is different to yours. A lot of the long words I got from the article ' Why is period poop the worst? 10 questions, answered ' .     1. Diarrhea and just sooooo much poop Certainly when my period starts I just can't seem to stop pooping. I get a really heavy day right at the beginning of my menstral cycle and for me the cramps are the worst! I feel sick and get headaches from the cramping. Ibuprofen just about takes the e

October is Baby Loss Awareness Month and there is one week in that time where there are a load of activities that take place. Unfortunately I wasn't ready to tell my story in full detail, but I feel like now is the right time to share my experience so that you know you are not alone and I can use it to come to terms with what I have been through. I guess you could all this personal written therapy to accompany the counselling I am currently receiving, but if this helps someone else then that can only be a good thing too. 2019 was another world L.P. Hartley said: "the past is a foreign country, they do things differently there" This is so true. When I think back to 2019 it was a totally different world. In early 2019 my husband and I sat down and decided that this was going to be the year that we got everything out of our systems so that we could start trying for a baby at the end of the year or in the new year. We followed our own advice and went to concerts, live tennis

It is very easy to tell someone to 'get over it' There is still a stigma around mental health and grief where we expect people to just 'get over it' all the time. The reality is that people don't just 'get over it' and many people learn to cope with something rather than have it go away entirely. In my life I have been told to get over my anxiety more times than I can count. I have even had people tell me that if I don't get over it my husband will leave me because it is not fair on him (that will not likely happen though as he has always had a positive effect on me and looks after me and doesn't seem to mind doing it). When grieving there has been an expectation that I get over it after the funeral has taken place. That is simply not the case for me and many other people. A funeral is a chance to say goodbye and then you have to learn to live without the person in your life.  I have a thing as part of my anxiety that is dermatophagia. This is where

When the rules don't make a lot of sense Yesterday I did my first full day back on the campus I work at. I felt totally safe being there and I have to say that the University has done an amazing job making the campus covid-19 safe. The measures include: Additional temporary buildings and toilets Hand sanitiser everywhere Free masks for staff and an expectation that everyone wears one around every building Spaced out bus stops at the terminal on site Limited numbers in toilets and kitchen areas One way system everywhere Not once did I feel like I would be in danger and I was spaced apart from colleagues the whole time. I really enjoyed being back at my place of work and it helped me to separate home and work life. This morning we are being told that we might have to start working from home more by the Government and as I write we are waiting to see what Boris Johnson has to say about things. The hints at the moment are that we should be working from home where possible and yet we ca

After two miscarriages, this is what I have learned About three weeks ago I suffered my second miscarriage in six months. This has been a weird year anyway, but there are some things I really wish I had been told before I miscarried, or at least when the first one happened. 1. You hurt...a lot I had been led to believe that a miscarriage was like a heavy period. My periods are heavy anyway and there is a lot of cramping involved, so I thought I would be prepared for a miscarriage. However, they are NOTHING like a period. The pain you feel is actually proper contractions as you have to effectively give birth to it. I even felt the urge to push at times and I was only at 6 weeks for both of my miscarriages. Both times I had to stop working (the second time I was at home because of the pandemic) and go to bed. The pain was not lessened when I took Ibuprofen and I ended up in writhing pain for a few hours. The contractions went on beyond that, but I could get them under control.  I would s

To lockdown again or not to lockdown again? That is the question Cases of COVID-19 in England are doubling about every 7/8 days and this is not wholly unexpected. As autumn and winter come in we are to expect and uptick in all types of viruses and there is no reason that this should be any different. There are lessons to learn from the southern hemisphere though. They are just emerging from their winter and there have been far less cases of flu and the common cold as people have locked down and improved hygiene standard to get COVID-19 under control. As things stand they are not looking good and the Chief Medical Officer has suggested that the country go into a new two week total lockdown to get the numbers under control here. There have not been a high number of deaths recently, but this is because a lot of the new cases have been in young people who are statistically more likely to survive if they don't have an underlying health issue. The problems begin when they take the virus

Back to the office and I like it Today I am back on campus and in an office. I say that because it is not my own office, but it is close enough and I am so happy to be back!  It isn’t like I was furloughed or not working at all during the last six months, but there is nothing like actually being on site. You get to have all these spontaneous conversations and already this morning I have managed to sort out so many issues that I just couldn’t do at home. Being in a socially distanced office is also great because there is nothing like physically being with people. You can get by with video calling someone, but it doesn’t feel the same as actually being with people.  I will admit to being quite nervous about coming back at first, but after I got here and saw other people here I realised that it was actually going to work really well and I was just so happy to have a little bit of normal come back. Hopefully it will last. I know there are talks about a full country two week lock down comin

What I have learned so far Ok, it is only 2 September and I only gave up social media a couple of days ago. Already I am learning some lesssons about myself and my habits and some of them are actually quite pleasant. I was surprised how quickly I would notice the difference. The full list includes being present in the moment, paying attention to the things I am doing, not feeling like I owe anyone an explanation. Lessons so far This is the list of lesssons I have learned so far and what I have discovered about them: Being present in the moment My worst habit is over thinking things that haven't happened yet. My husband said the other day that I have a bad habit of looking forward to things and then planning the next thing while I am experiencing the thing I am supposed to be doing.  My go to crutch is taking my phone everywhere (and I mean everywhere) and relying on social media for something to distract me. It is a way of killing time until I have to do something, but that is not

How this year has taught us all lessons in coping with loss This year has been tough. I have said this a lot in my blogs this year, but that is because it is true. Many people have lost someone close to them because of the COVID-19 virus, while others have lost people for other reasons. This year alone both my husband and I have lost close family members for very different reasons. We have also been dealing with personal loss as I have suffered with two miscarriages. It is very easy to forget how loss can effect us in a variety of different ways. How I experience loss There is the obvious one, sadness. It is more than that though, it is deeper and more primal. When I experience loss it is coupled with frustration as I am unable to do anything about it. There is a purely selfish part to loss as well as I wonder what I will do without the person in my life. Then there is the big one. Stress. For me this takes the form of stomach ache, diarrhea, not wanting to eat and not being able to sl

The time has come to say goodbye to social media...for now This year has been really crap...yeah I know that sounds obvious. For me especially so. I have lost a close family member (not to COVID-19 thankfully), my husband has also lost a family member and I have suffered two miscarriages while almost all my friends have been giving birth all over the shop. Is it any wonder that my mental health has been particularly bad of late (although as I write this I am still in the process of miscarrying for the second time). How Social Media has contributed to the problems this year Because everyone has been stuck at home there has been more reliance on technology than ever before and that includes social media. Anything to try and stay connected to other people. We are a social species after all. There was a troubling trend in social media before the pandemic though and it has changed dramatically since I was first using social media about 15 years ago. Back then it was a way of sharing silly c

When I take part in GISH I am often asked what it is. Even after explaining the acronym of ‘Greatest International Scavenger Hunt’ people still just state in confusion and this has led me to also question ‘what is GISH?’. For this I need to search deeply into my own thoughts on the matter. GISH is both a place and a state of mind. In terms of place it is a creative space where good deeds are done through a series of wild and whacky actions. State of mind varies from moment-to-moment between believing it is the greatest event to take part in ever to wondering what possessed me as it seemed like a good idea at the time to sign up. Hard work is both rewarding when playing GISH, but also leads to unreasonable pain and suffering as materials run out, sleep is lacking and sugar levels run low. GISH becomes a source of joy coupled with excruciating moments of frustration, embarrassment and self-loathing. Only a masacist would keep putting themselves through this process. Like childbirth

Keeping well while you're staying at home It is a weird world right now. As I write this we have been in lockdown for one month in the UK and we have at least another two weeks of this. People are getting into a new routine with things like shopping and working. I have noticed that there are a lot more tins and toilet rolls in the supermarkets so that is a blessing at the moment. However, it is easy to fall down the rabbit hole and start to feel helpless when this is all going on. Mentally there are a lot of people struggling at the moment. It might be because you are cut off from friends and family, or you just look at the world and feel totally helpless with everything going on. Some of us already have our fights with mental health and this is pushing us further and further down. Then there is the physical aspect. How do you stay fit and healthy when you are stuck at home? This is especially hard if you live in a block of flats. There is also the temptation to snack for som