What 7 years has taught me
I will have been with my fiance for 7 years come Valentine's Day. We are getting married later in the year as well. Not only have we been together for 7 years, but we have known each other for just over 12 years. We were friends for 5 years before getting together. In all of that time I have learned a few things about him and relationships.
You can't change a bad habit:
I won't embarrass the poor lad with his bad habits (though I have my fair share to be truthful), but in all the time I have known him I cannot get him to stop. I don't think I will ever change him and in reality I don't think I would want to. His bad habits are a part of him after all.
Get a comfy mattress:
We were so looking forward to sleeping next to each other when my mattress decided to die. It was so bad for my back that I ended up spending a month in another room away from him. Invest in a good mattress before you move out. It will save you so much in the relationship.
Being friends first matters:
We were best friends for 5 years before getting together. In that time we did have feelings for each other but we never acted on them. Being friends first meant we really got to know each other. It also means we are still best friends now. We don't feel the need to constantly cling to each other or make a big deal out of our relationship. We already knew so much about each other that nothing could ever come as a shock.
Leave the past behind:
We both knew each other's history when it came to relationships so we knew what baggage the other one came with. That is the joys of being friends first too. You can't get jealous over an ex though. There is a reason they are an ex and your partner is with you now. Also, don't judge your partner by your ex. They are not your ex and that's why you're with them surely?
Let them have space:
We live together and yet we do our own things too. Dave plays football on a Sunday and goes to see his brothers once a week. I go to Zumba and go for walks alone while he plays football. We do other things as well, he will play a video game while I read a book for example.
Make time for each other:
It is so easy with mobiles and work loads to realise that even while living together you are spending time apart. We make sure we have at least one evening a week where we turn off all mobiles, PCs, etc. and just spend time together. We go for a walk or play a board game or just watch a DVD. It doesn't have to cost anything. You can save and go out once a month or something though. It can be whatever you want. The key thing is to turn off your mobile and spend time with that person.
You can't change a bad habit:
I won't embarrass the poor lad with his bad habits (though I have my fair share to be truthful), but in all the time I have known him I cannot get him to stop. I don't think I will ever change him and in reality I don't think I would want to. His bad habits are a part of him after all.
Get a comfy mattress:
We were so looking forward to sleeping next to each other when my mattress decided to die. It was so bad for my back that I ended up spending a month in another room away from him. Invest in a good mattress before you move out. It will save you so much in the relationship.
Being friends first matters:
We were best friends for 5 years before getting together. In that time we did have feelings for each other but we never acted on them. Being friends first meant we really got to know each other. It also means we are still best friends now. We don't feel the need to constantly cling to each other or make a big deal out of our relationship. We already knew so much about each other that nothing could ever come as a shock.
Leave the past behind:
We both knew each other's history when it came to relationships so we knew what baggage the other one came with. That is the joys of being friends first too. You can't get jealous over an ex though. There is a reason they are an ex and your partner is with you now. Also, don't judge your partner by your ex. They are not your ex and that's why you're with them surely?
Let them have space:
We live together and yet we do our own things too. Dave plays football on a Sunday and goes to see his brothers once a week. I go to Zumba and go for walks alone while he plays football. We do other things as well, he will play a video game while I read a book for example.
Make time for each other:
It is so easy with mobiles and work loads to realise that even while living together you are spending time apart. We make sure we have at least one evening a week where we turn off all mobiles, PCs, etc. and just spend time together. We go for a walk or play a board game or just watch a DVD. It doesn't have to cost anything. You can save and go out once a month or something though. It can be whatever you want. The key thing is to turn off your mobile and spend time with that person.
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