How I came to fail at Christmas blogging
I remember that I started with the best of intentions to do a Christmas blog each day in the lead up to Christmas...but it didn't happen.
I was going to write about the history of Christmas, how it is celebrated around the world, popular Christmas items like crackers and trees. I didn't and for that I can only apologise.
The truth is that I have been really ill lately. For the last couple of months I have been really struggling with my anxiety which was brought on by my extended illness. In October I had a nasty virus that struck my digestive system and also brought on flu like symptoms. This in turn has left me with a post-viral fatigue. It took such a long time for me to have the tests to prove this...which is something I already knew I had. Now I am finally being taken seriously.
The trouble is that in the lead up to Christmas I have been left totally exhausted and that is not fun. By the time I have been at work all day, gone home and done the bits of house work I need to do I am about ready to actually pass out. I physically can't move on some evenings. The last thing I want to do is research and think about the blogs I am supposed to be doing.
I feel like I have sort of let myself down, it has been frustrating to not be able to do the things I love. Last night was the first time in ages that I was able to cosplay. There is a lot of effort that goes into the process of cosplaying. You have to put the costume together, sort the wig out, do your make-up and really embrace the character. I would have been too knackered to even get into the costume before. Last night I put together my favourite character to cosplay, Madam Red, and took a load of photos that I am still uploading sporadically to instagram.
Until about a week ago I didn't think I would be able to do anything ever again. This is a totally overly dramatic view but I was so fed up not knowing for sure what was going on with me that I was just never comfortable doing the things I love. Everything changed when I got a call from the doctor who told me it really was nothing to worry about but it could take a little while to get over. That same night I saw my current favourite band, ONE OK ROCK live for the first time and that seemed to bring all the life back in to me.
I have always seen music as therapy and I certainly needed that show. Yes it was cramped and yes it was loud and yes there was a lot of use from the strobe lights, but it was amazing! Being in a room full of people with as much passion for this band as me lifted my spirits. We all sang along and, for the first time in years, I ignored my knee pain and jumped around (I was injured at work in an old job back when I was 21 and my knees haven't been right since). I have been on such a positive high since.
Yes, in the last week I have been exhausted too and I have had one or two moments where I caught myself on the verge of an anxiety attack. Something seemed to give me a real pick me up that day. I would guess that it was a combination of hearing for sure that it was nothing serious and also seeing a band I love so much.
Christmas is something I so look forward to each year. Last year I came down with the flu on Christmas Day! This is not something I want to happen again this year. I am glad that my energy is coming back as well and that means that I will be able to go out and enjoy all the Christmas parties and events that are on between Christmas and New Year.
I know it sounds like I just listed the worst excuses for not keeping up with my blog ever, but I really have been that bad and I am just so happy that I am feeling better and can get on with my life again. I am sure some of this was brought on by the stresses I have had at work and buying a house this year and I am hoping that 2016 will be far less stressful.
I was going to write about the history of Christmas, how it is celebrated around the world, popular Christmas items like crackers and trees. I didn't and for that I can only apologise.
The truth is that I have been really ill lately. For the last couple of months I have been really struggling with my anxiety which was brought on by my extended illness. In October I had a nasty virus that struck my digestive system and also brought on flu like symptoms. This in turn has left me with a post-viral fatigue. It took such a long time for me to have the tests to prove this...which is something I already knew I had. Now I am finally being taken seriously.
The trouble is that in the lead up to Christmas I have been left totally exhausted and that is not fun. By the time I have been at work all day, gone home and done the bits of house work I need to do I am about ready to actually pass out. I physically can't move on some evenings. The last thing I want to do is research and think about the blogs I am supposed to be doing.
I feel like I have sort of let myself down, it has been frustrating to not be able to do the things I love. Last night was the first time in ages that I was able to cosplay. There is a lot of effort that goes into the process of cosplaying. You have to put the costume together, sort the wig out, do your make-up and really embrace the character. I would have been too knackered to even get into the costume before. Last night I put together my favourite character to cosplay, Madam Red, and took a load of photos that I am still uploading sporadically to instagram.
Until about a week ago I didn't think I would be able to do anything ever again. This is a totally overly dramatic view but I was so fed up not knowing for sure what was going on with me that I was just never comfortable doing the things I love. Everything changed when I got a call from the doctor who told me it really was nothing to worry about but it could take a little while to get over. That same night I saw my current favourite band, ONE OK ROCK live for the first time and that seemed to bring all the life back in to me.
I have always seen music as therapy and I certainly needed that show. Yes it was cramped and yes it was loud and yes there was a lot of use from the strobe lights, but it was amazing! Being in a room full of people with as much passion for this band as me lifted my spirits. We all sang along and, for the first time in years, I ignored my knee pain and jumped around (I was injured at work in an old job back when I was 21 and my knees haven't been right since). I have been on such a positive high since.
Yes, in the last week I have been exhausted too and I have had one or two moments where I caught myself on the verge of an anxiety attack. Something seemed to give me a real pick me up that day. I would guess that it was a combination of hearing for sure that it was nothing serious and also seeing a band I love so much.
Christmas is something I so look forward to each year. Last year I came down with the flu on Christmas Day! This is not something I want to happen again this year. I am glad that my energy is coming back as well and that means that I will be able to go out and enjoy all the Christmas parties and events that are on between Christmas and New Year.
I know it sounds like I just listed the worst excuses for not keeping up with my blog ever, but I really have been that bad and I am just so happy that I am feeling better and can get on with my life again. I am sure some of this was brought on by the stresses I have had at work and buying a house this year and I am hoping that 2016 will be far less stressful.
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