Obsessed by the numbers
So last night I am not going to lie. I became very down heartened by my cosplay. This might seem odd in light of a vlog and blog on creativity where I seemed to embrace that activity. I was looking at Instagram and there were all these amazing cosplayers who had been doing it for years and were really talented. They looked so much like the characters they were trying to bring to life and I was amazed by what I saw. Their costumes were so professional and the settings were amazing. I was in shock by it all.
The other problem was that I was very tired and cranky. It was a long and very difficult day at work and I really felt low at the time. Not the best time to go checking out other people's work.
When I first started cosplaying I did it for a laugh. I did it because it seemed like a fun thing to do. I just enjoyed dressing up and doing my make-up. Then I noticed that my follower count on Instagram went up and I was getting more likes for cosplay than anything else. Then I starting getting comments which, apart from a couple, have been relatively positive. I started counting and comparing. How many followers did that last post get me? How many likes did this post get compared to that post?
I realised that these numbers were taking over my life. I worked out that a certain percentage of my followers were from America and some from Australia so I started working out when the best time of day was to post to get the maximum amount of likes and comments.
It wasn't just Instagram though. I found the same thing with Twitter. A few years ago I had a nasty run in with a close family member on Twitter and the outcome was a conversation (face-to-face) that ended with me being told that no one should ever follow me. After a week I had doubled my followers and by the end of the year I was up to 700 followers from the 150 I had started the year with. I soon noticed this slowing down though. I had this plan to get to 1000 followers because that seemed like a decent enough number. Then I seemed to stall at 850 and I have been there or there about for a couple of years now. Followers come and go but the number stays about the same.
The only thing that didn't seem to bother me was Facebook. I have a lot of friends on there but I am not sure how many and I am not really bothered with the number. I use Facebook as a communication tool with close friends and family but if anyone has an interest in being my friend I will usually accept them if they seem harmless enough.
I realised that I am not the only person. People seem to be obsessed by likes. We even have newspaper articles about 'viral posts' on social media, like how many times something was shared or re-tweeted. The obsession is every where and you are no one in this world any more unless you have a large number of followers or a viral post. We obsess over which celeb has the most twitter followers and companies approach those with large numbers of followers to promote their goods.
There can't be anything good about this though. I am sure I am not the only person in the world who has felt low after seeing something on social media. I obsess about how little likes I get on my photos or how many followers I have just like anyone else. This cannot be healthy. What did we do to justify ourselves before social media existed?
I started cosplaying as something fun for me to do. I should have carried on looking at it like that. I became obsessed with the numbers though and that was my downfall. All of a sudden this thing I did just for the hell of it and with no real seriousness attached to it became this chore. It was something I felt I had to do regularly to avoid people losing interest in me and my account. I had to come up with new poses and characters and things to say. I tried to do all this and it just didn't look as good as other people's. I became increasingly more and more depressed by the whole thing.
I want to take it back. I want to cosplay without the pressure there. I still want to post my cosplay attempts but I don't want to obsess over the numbers. No, I don't care if you think my cosplay is shit, I know it is but that isn't the point. I want to play dress up as my favourite character basically and I will fucking well do it. Did this post get as many likes as the last? No. Oh well, who gives a shit.
If we continue to obsess over the numbers we will make ourselves more and more sick in the head and that cannot be a good thing in the long term. Social media has done amazing things in connecting the world and giving people without a voice a chance to be heard but it can be just as damaging as good if we lose sight of it.
I am taking my cosplay back. No, I am not good at sewing and I do not have room in my house for a sewing machine so I will be ordering my costumes in future. No, I know my wigs look shit, they were the best I could do with my limited funds and time. No, I don't care that I am over weight and haven't got a good camera to make me look fantastic. A lot of the time I cosplay when there is no one else around because it means I have me time and I can take a load of selfies basically. That means there are no full body shots and I am limited to what I can do. That is the reality of it. I really don't care. Also, yes, I am aware that my longer wigs have a couple of knots in but that is the reality of long hair, no one can keep it perfect.
Basically I want to have fun and I will have fun because it is one of the few things I have discovered that I enjoy. Those numbers now mean nothing to me. That is that. Bit ranty this time but you get the point I guess.
The other problem was that I was very tired and cranky. It was a long and very difficult day at work and I really felt low at the time. Not the best time to go checking out other people's work.
When I first started cosplaying I did it for a laugh. I did it because it seemed like a fun thing to do. I just enjoyed dressing up and doing my make-up. Then I noticed that my follower count on Instagram went up and I was getting more likes for cosplay than anything else. Then I starting getting comments which, apart from a couple, have been relatively positive. I started counting and comparing. How many followers did that last post get me? How many likes did this post get compared to that post?
I realised that these numbers were taking over my life. I worked out that a certain percentage of my followers were from America and some from Australia so I started working out when the best time of day was to post to get the maximum amount of likes and comments.
It wasn't just Instagram though. I found the same thing with Twitter. A few years ago I had a nasty run in with a close family member on Twitter and the outcome was a conversation (face-to-face) that ended with me being told that no one should ever follow me. After a week I had doubled my followers and by the end of the year I was up to 700 followers from the 150 I had started the year with. I soon noticed this slowing down though. I had this plan to get to 1000 followers because that seemed like a decent enough number. Then I seemed to stall at 850 and I have been there or there about for a couple of years now. Followers come and go but the number stays about the same.
The only thing that didn't seem to bother me was Facebook. I have a lot of friends on there but I am not sure how many and I am not really bothered with the number. I use Facebook as a communication tool with close friends and family but if anyone has an interest in being my friend I will usually accept them if they seem harmless enough.
I realised that I am not the only person. People seem to be obsessed by likes. We even have newspaper articles about 'viral posts' on social media, like how many times something was shared or re-tweeted. The obsession is every where and you are no one in this world any more unless you have a large number of followers or a viral post. We obsess over which celeb has the most twitter followers and companies approach those with large numbers of followers to promote their goods.
There can't be anything good about this though. I am sure I am not the only person in the world who has felt low after seeing something on social media. I obsess about how little likes I get on my photos or how many followers I have just like anyone else. This cannot be healthy. What did we do to justify ourselves before social media existed?
I started cosplaying as something fun for me to do. I should have carried on looking at it like that. I became obsessed with the numbers though and that was my downfall. All of a sudden this thing I did just for the hell of it and with no real seriousness attached to it became this chore. It was something I felt I had to do regularly to avoid people losing interest in me and my account. I had to come up with new poses and characters and things to say. I tried to do all this and it just didn't look as good as other people's. I became increasingly more and more depressed by the whole thing.
I want to take it back. I want to cosplay without the pressure there. I still want to post my cosplay attempts but I don't want to obsess over the numbers. No, I don't care if you think my cosplay is shit, I know it is but that isn't the point. I want to play dress up as my favourite character basically and I will fucking well do it. Did this post get as many likes as the last? No. Oh well, who gives a shit.
If we continue to obsess over the numbers we will make ourselves more and more sick in the head and that cannot be a good thing in the long term. Social media has done amazing things in connecting the world and giving people without a voice a chance to be heard but it can be just as damaging as good if we lose sight of it.
I am taking my cosplay back. No, I am not good at sewing and I do not have room in my house for a sewing machine so I will be ordering my costumes in future. No, I know my wigs look shit, they were the best I could do with my limited funds and time. No, I don't care that I am over weight and haven't got a good camera to make me look fantastic. A lot of the time I cosplay when there is no one else around because it means I have me time and I can take a load of selfies basically. That means there are no full body shots and I am limited to what I can do. That is the reality of it. I really don't care. Also, yes, I am aware that my longer wigs have a couple of knots in but that is the reality of long hair, no one can keep it perfect.
Basically I want to have fun and I will have fun because it is one of the few things I have discovered that I enjoy. Those numbers now mean nothing to me. That is that. Bit ranty this time but you get the point I guess.
Comments
Post a Comment