Post-gig depression

Is post-gig depression a real thing? If so, why does it exist?

Urban Dictionary describes it thus:

'The feeling you get the day after you see a really fantastic gig. You get depressed that it ended, and want to go back in time and relive the moment, even though you know you can't. Can last up to a week, depending on the awesomeness of the gig.' - http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Post+Gig+Depression

Anyone who has been to a gig will know the feeling. You have been to see one of your favourite bands, they played a blinding set and then you got to meet them afterwards. It was one of the best nights of your life and you would love to relive it. The build up went on for weeks or even months and then, in the space of a couple of hours, it was all over. You wake up the next morning and your ears are still ringing, you are tired and happy and then the day wears on. You slowly come back down to earth and realise that you are re-entering normality. You know the best is behind you and you start to feel down. Nothing can be as good as that gig last night and you will never experience such a high again. You are sad and you can't drag your way out of it. That feeling lasts anything from a couple of days to over a week.

Is it a real thing though? Well it certainly has stages:

1. Euphoria - the immediate aftermath of the awesome gig.
2. Reflection - when you register what happened.
3. Realisation - when you realise how awesome it was and how you won't experience it again.
4. Reality - day-to-day is mundane by comparison
5. Feeling outcasted - you tell people who weren't there how awesome it was and they don't understand.
6. Stalking - basically you keep looking out for your internet friends who are going to future dates and wait until you can talk to them about it. Waiting for a mention from them.
7. Lack of self-control - you go looking for another date you could go to.
8. Acceptance - either accept you have an obsession - hence the new show - or accept that it will be a long time until you see the band.
9. Living - the stage where you lose all the bad feelings and can look back on the night fondly and not as something you have lost.

http://www.altpress.com/features/entry/the_9_phases_of_post_concert_depression

I remember my first real experience of post-gig depression. I have been to a lot of gigs in my life and never really experienced it. I would look back on the night and remember it fondly and half think it would be great to go back and do it again but I was never sad about the night being over. I just looked forward to the next gig.

Then, in 2012, I discovered Fearless Vampire Killers. They were going on a joint headline tour with another band I loved called The Dead Lay Waiting. The tour was called The Killing Is Dead Tour and they were coming to Southampton to a venue that now no longer exists (not in the original form anyway). I got tickets months in advance and was so happy about seeing two of my favourite bands together and getting the chance to meet both bands for the first time ever! During the day of the show I made myself sick with excitement. I think I ate one slice of pizza all day. The night before I had seen American Idiot (the Green Day musical) and was still buzzing from that. The gig came round and I was waiting in the cold with everyone else. It was glorious to get inside. I remember it all. The stage was up a flight of stairs so I went to the loo downstairs and waited for my then boyfriend (now fiance) at the bottom of the stairs. I remember one of the vocalists from FVK almost knocking me off my feet. The show was fast, brilliant and I was so happy to meet all the guys. I mean just look at my face with each of them (plus the conversation I had with Luke - then of TDLW now of Solace in Nightmares - was awesome).

Me and Luke (FVK drummer)

Me and Drew (FVK bassist)

Me and Kier (FVK vocals/guitar)

Me and Laurence (FVK vocals/guitar)

Me and Shane (Barrone - FVK guitar)

Me and Luke (formally TDLW vocals now SIN vocals)

Anyway I was buzzing the next day and only got about 2 hours sleep that night. I kept looking at these photos to make sure the whole thing was real. I was so happy...until the following evening.

At the time I was living with my parents but house sitting while they were away on holiday. I just burst in to tears on my fiance and said it was because I missed the night before. I had been going through a rough patch and all of a sudden this amazing thing had happened and then it was gone.

I was like it for days. Nothing could make me feel better. I was just walking around in a daze and every time I looked at the photos it was like being kicked in the stomach. I knew I had to go back and see these bands again. So I had a look at the rest of the tour. 

It turned out they were playing in Andover at a venue I was sure had sold out. It turned out there were some tickets left and I ordered some straight away. As a result, I ended up seeing them again a week after I had done the first time. It also happened to be the birthday of Shane and Drew (not related to each other but weirdly in the same band and with the same birthday) so it was an extra special party vibe kind of night.

That helped to take the edge off but I found myself looking for more dates. This lasted through 2013 and I ended up seeing them six times in that one year. TDLW I think I saw about 5 times that year.

I still remember how it all felt when I look back on it all now and talking to other people I know this seems to be a common thing. So is it real or all in our heads?

Search online and you will have thousands of results come back where people talk about their experiences of post-gig depression. They all seem to think it is a real thing and they all describe the same feelings.

As there have been no scientific investigations in to this I guess we could look at it this way. By that I mean the way I have been looking at it and working it all out.

You feel normal for days and weeks before hand and then on the day of the gig you realise this amazing thing is about to happen. You start to build it up in your own head as an amazing thing and by the time you get to the venue you are really fired up. You have your heart racing with the excitement and you have the adrenaline pumping through your veins. You give it your all singing along and joining in the mosh pit and then it all ends. You meet the band (sometimes) and then you are out in to the cold night air still wide awake and buzzing.

You only get a little bit of sleep that night because you got in late, it is mid week or something and you are still buzzing from the adrenaline. When the next day wears on you are tired and run down and that will make anyone more emotional than usual. The reality that the night is in the past dawns on you and you completely break down. Nothing will be that fun again.

I will mostly place the blame on the adrenaline here. That is my excuse and I am sticking to it anyway.

I think there are similar occasions where other people can feel the same. My fiance is not so excited by gigs but I remember taking him to his first football match. He had never had the chance to go before and I took him to see his favourite team, Southampton FC. Lucky for us Saints (as they are known) won the match and he was absolutely buzzing. He couldn't stop talking about it, barely slept and was over the moon about seeing his favourite team. The atmosphere in the stadium was amazing and he thrived off of it. The next day he really missed it and really wished he had another match to go to.

I have known people feel the same way after going to the theatre, cinema, a holiday (Dave gets that one too) and it must be because we look forward to something for so long and then it is over. While we are there we are happy and comfortable and the adrenaline gets pumping and then it is all over and we are looking for the next happy thing.

I have learned that the best way to deal with the night is acceptance. After experiencing a lot of post-gig depression in 2013 I hardly went to any gigs in 2014. I learned that it was possible to have an amazing night and then look back on it for what it was. I remember it fondly and move on. I find having other things to look forward to always helps too. This year alone (2016) I have FVK tonight (9 March), Circus of Horrors in a week (16 March), my wedding (7 October) and then the ATP Tennis Final for my 30th birthday.

That said, I saw ONE OK ROCK last year in December and that was the first time in a long time that I had felt the post-gig depression seep back in. If I could go back to that night in London and see them do it all again I would. Maybe this isn't so easy to control after all.